An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

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Female Orgasms

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thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Yo Mama is so dumb, that she scored significantly below average on the SAT's.

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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I love pissing people off :P

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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