What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

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What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

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What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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Why dd the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She lost her arms to cancer.

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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What is black and looks like a person A black person

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

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A Sloth runs...

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. . I am a whale

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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