What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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I hate long jokes -_-

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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