Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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breasts

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A kid a jew and a child molester walk into a room . what happens next? Nothing there in a room.

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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