- Anti Joke

Why did the black man commit suicide? Because the white man murdered him.

What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

A man had just got done with work and was driving home through the country side when his car broke down. He turned the key and the car didn’t start so he turned the key again and it didn’t work so he started walking and walking and walking... and walking and walking and walking some more. And finally he came across a farm. He knocked on the door (knock on something) he knocked again (knock on something) he knocked again and finally the door opened (make the sound of a door opening). (In old man’s voice) what can I do for you sonny. The man said that his car broke down a few miles back and asked if he could stay there for the night and call for a tow truck in the morning. (In old man’s voice) sure but under one condition the old man said. And the old man walked out to the barn opened the barn door (make the sound of a door creaking). He moved the hay bale (make a thumping noise). Under it was a trap door the man opened the trap door (make the sound of a door creaking and then a thump). Under it was moldy, old, damp, steep steps. They walked down the steps (Make the sound of steps creaking (multiple times)). They walked down the narrow corridor and walked and walked and walked some more. Finally they got to a giant glass door the man pushed it open (make the sound of a door creaking). They walked and walked and walked some more. Finally they got to an iron bared door. The man opened it (make the sound of a door creaking). Then they walked and walked and walked some more. Finally they got to a large open room and in the corner was a cage and in the corner of the cage was a black figure (make sure you don’t say it was an ape). The old man said (In old man’s voice) don’t touch it and so they. Then they walked and walked and walked some more. Finally they got to an iron bared door. The man opened it (make the sound of a door creaking). They walked and walked and walked some more. Finally they got to a giant glass door the man pushed it open (make the sound of a door creaking). They walked and walked and walked some. And finally they walked up the moldy, old, damp, steep steps. (Make the sound of steps creaking (multiple times)). He closed the trap door (make the sound of a door creaking and then a thump). He moved the hay bale (make a thumping noise). Closed the barn door (make the sound of a door creaking). Walked to the house and went to sleep. The man had a dream about touching the figure (make sure you don’t say it was an ape) and right as he touched it he woke up. He thought nothing of it and went back to sleep. He had the same dream and woke up. He went back to sleep and had the same dream and decided to go check the thing out (make sure you don’t say it was an ape). He walked out to the barn opened the barn door (make the sound of a door creaking). He moved the hay bale (make a thumping noise). Under it was a trap door the man opened the trap door (make the sound of a door creaking and then a thump). Under it was moldy, old, damp, steep steps. He walked down the steps (Make the sound of steps creaking (multiple times)). He walked down the narrow corridor and walked and walked and walked some more. Finally he got to a giant glass door the man pushed it open (make the sound of a door creaking). He walked and walked and walked some more. Finally he got to an iron bared door. The man opened it (make the sound of a door creaking). Then he walked and walked and walked some more. Finally he got to a large open room and in the corner was a cage and in the corner of the cage was the black figure (make sure you don’t say it was an ape). He goes up to it and sees that it had changed places. He studies it more closely and sees that it’s a giant ape! He’s about to touch it and says to himself no I shouldn’t touch it the man told me not to I shouldn’t do. And then he’s about to touch it and he pulls his hand back and thinks I should get out of this place when I'm not paying attention I'm going to touch it and then he feels something fuzzy on his hand and looks at it and his hand is on the ape. Then he starts to panics and thinks what have I done. But strangely nothing happens and starts to wonder about why the man told him not to touch it. And then the ape starts to stir. The man runs for it. After a minute of running he hears the cage burst open (slam in the table). He gets to the iron barred door and slams it shut (thump on something). After a few seconds of running he hears the iron barred door burst open (slam on the table) then he slams the glass door shut (thump on something) and after a while hears the glass door shatter open (slam on the table) he quickly gets to the stairs. Runs up them as fast as he could slams the trap door shut (thump on something) throws the hay bale on (thump on something) slams the barn door shut (thump on something) slams the barn door shut(thump on something) he starts running for the car and starts trying to get his key out of his pocket while he runs he get to the car fumbles his keys around to find the right one finally finds it and unlocks the door puts the keys in and turns it and nothing happens he turns the key again and nothing happens then he realizes that his car has broken down. He tries to calm down and realizes that he hadn’t heard the ape break out of the barn and must have had a very hard time getting up the small steep stairs. Then he hears these repeated thumps (thump on something (many times and get louder)and figures out that it’s the ape running then it stops all of a sudden… (thump on something as hard as you can)and then he heard this loud crash on the roof. then the ape punches through the roof and destroys the passenger seat and then rips off the roof. Picks the man up holds out his pointer finger and says (in a deep menacing voice) tag your it and runs off into the distance.

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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