if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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Get on the boat.

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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why did i come to this site i was doing a school easy about the anti-apartheid movement

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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