Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Blah blah something about Ryan Dunn.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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