Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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A Jew and a Nazi encountered each other on the street. They exchanged pleasant greetings and carried on in their desired directions.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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