Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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