Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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What do you call a black kid with no parents? A black orphan.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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Things that have changed since I was a kid. Turtles: My time, awesome. Today: Shredder is a human which is not a human but actually a Krang, but his daughter which is not his daughter because he is a freaking krang, has a sex thing for Leonardo which is a turtle (the blue one, whatever his name is). Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: My time? Well it was awesome back then, fine I admit it, I might have been a bit biased but still, I enjoyed the hell out of it, there where five rangers and yeah that Asian bitch that gave me a boner as a kid made a green one which she giftwrapped to the rest of the team, then some white ranger showed up... But I never watched anything with the white guy, I had lots interest years ago by then (Still play that fighting game for the Snes and thats why I know there is a fucking white ranger... And deathbattle okay) Today: Power Rangers Neon, Power Rangers Tetris, Power Rangers Ultra Power, Power Rangers Sexfighters, Power Rangers Nazi, Power Rangers Texas Rangers, Power Rangers Color, Power Rangers Multiforce Orbital Neo Neon.... And thats just like 03 percent of the variants right? Moral: As a kid we always had a lol when the Asian chick turned into Yellow ranger and did a split kick, which kinda revealed she had a massive dick between her legs... Later we understood that she was a he and that the Ranger Segments are recorded in Japan... Probably by a Hermafrodite... Nah, a guy fine. Oh, and we always lolled at how "gay" the original blue ranger acted he was supposed to be Nerd but I was like eight and was like "lol he just seems gay"... Just for it to turn out that he quit the series because supposedly the rest of the actors mocked him for being gay, Wow thats... Weird.

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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