What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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( . Y . )

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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Did nims chinnie? Fins.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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