Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

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What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

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Ian's mind Elevator music

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Tilt your screen back

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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what do German people eat at BBQ ' s ? burgers and hotdogs and kebabs and fried chicken with a garnish of summer salad washed down with a cold mouth tingling glass of coca cola and jews

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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what's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings what's worse than 2 bee stings? the Holocaust. what's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

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How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

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Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops