What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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Bark I'm a tree

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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these are shit

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Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops