How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

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why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

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You bumder!

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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