Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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I had a really great joke to tell you!

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Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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