Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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