What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

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What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

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My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

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What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

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Joke

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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You just wasted time of your life reading this, and perhaps even more wasted time thumbing this down.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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Theres an app for the iPhone.

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Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops