Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Why did the boy fall out of the plane. Because the plane was on fire.

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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your mother

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How many babies does it take it to feed a grown man? It depends on the size of the man, how hungry he is and how big the babies are.

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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GONNA

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops