A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

Bannana man do do do do do ect.

Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

Yo mama's so fat that she pushed you off your computer and you couldnt write anymore "yo Mama" jokes.

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

the WNBA

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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