How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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What did the normal guy say when he went to the Special Olympics? What a bunch of retards.

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

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Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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THE END.

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If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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