What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

Ready for something funny? nothing

Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

White boy in jail. "That ish crazy!!"

I grunt when I poop.

Hey, Max!!

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

Who is the fattest mexican on the earth? Not Osama because he's dead...and he wasn't mexican..

What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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