"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

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Sorry I am like so fucking wasted still, I keep giggling and laughing all of the time.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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Q: What is Kony's favorite rapper A: SOULJA BOY!!

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hey how do you turn the Xbox controller off thats easy turn the xbox off.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Why did the black student fail his math test? Because he was severely traumatized by the school shooting that had occurred during the test. He was later relieved to hear that the teacher did not count the test, because the legal paperwork surrounding the death of 12 students was somewhat overwhelming.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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