You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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I walked into temptation yesterday, He said hi.

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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Guess what? The Game.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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"We wear pink on Wednesdays"" -Mean Girls, 2004

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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