why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

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A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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Dogs

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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