I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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I bet you read this. Told ya.

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

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what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops