Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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Stop procrastinating.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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a jew, a latino and an aboriginal walk into a bar this is an example of a great inter-racial comunity

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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