Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

your mom was so fat that she died.

Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

69

When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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