You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

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There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but it was delicious.

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yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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Did you hear about the guy who did a backflip off the cliff? He died

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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