Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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What did the Black man get after a month's worth of manual labour? A reasonable wage, that was above the national minimum wage standard which states his and everyones right to a certain amount of money

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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What do you call a black man? A person

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Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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