if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Roses are Red Violets are Gay This poem makes no sense Octopus

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir......my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Well, there's one way...

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Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

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I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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