What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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all your base are belong to mark

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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Womens rights

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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