how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A women's opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

thumb_up thumb_down -11

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I woke up today

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops