What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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Lil' Wayne

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NEVER

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops