An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

anti-joke.com

What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

do you have a wife?

What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

why was the boy sad? because.

Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

What did the peanut say to the jelly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...