Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? On a fundamental level, it was pursuing evolutionary instincts, perhaps a half-bored interest in food.

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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