How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

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children of those parents which re childless, often are childless too...

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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