How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

honest politician

your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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