A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

anal seepage

There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

thats what she she. no really thats what she said

Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

whats worse than school? Summer school

I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

Top Gear USA

The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

The dewey decimal system

What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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