What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Women's Rights.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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