Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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derp

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

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A sober Amy Winehouse

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

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Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

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i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A BRICK!!

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Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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