- Anti Joke

Are you a psychopath? Take this short quiz. Q1. You live in an apartment building (about 10~15 stories). You were a student studying for an exam, but decided to take some rest. You looked out the window and witnessed a man killing a girl. The man saw you and moved his finger in a certain motion. Just from the information given, what do you think the man was doing with his finger? Q2. Someone is in front of you. Who is that person? Q3. There is a portrait of a man who went to war. He was injured in two places. Where was he injured? (List the two places he was injured.) Q4. A little boy received a bike and a soccer ball for presents. But the boy hated them. Why didn't the boy like the two presents? Q5. You're a thief. You broke into someone's house. The owner of the house saw you; you have no choice but to kill the owner. But the owner hid inside the closet. How are you going to kill the owner? Q6. You're a twin (and you're a girl). You were born before your twin sister. Your grandma recently passed away and you guys had to hold a funeral for her. At the funeral, you saw a handsome, young man. You fell deeply in love him... But, you killed your twin sister. Why did you kill your twin sister? Q7. You live in an apartment. You were watching TV, but someone was knocking hard on the door. You looked through the peephole and there was a man who was holding a knife. What are you going to do? Q8. You're the youngest member of the family. You saw your mom, dad, brother, sister, etc. die right in front of your eyes. But you stood still or did nothing. Why did you? Q9. You were very thirsty. You decided to get a drink from the vending machine. What color drink did you choose? ---------------------------------------------------- A1. Normal: Memorizing your face to kill you. Psychopath: Counting what floor you live in. A2. Normal: Murderer/Criminal Psychopath: a landowner A3. Normal: Whatever the psychopath didn't say... Psychopath: Eyes and chest A4. Normal: Already own it or hate it Psychopath: Doesn't have legs A5. Normal: Stick a knife inside and kill the owner. Psychopath: Wait in front of the closet until the owner come it. A6. Normal: To see that handsome, young man again. Psychopath: To have that man all to yourself. A7. Normal: Do not open the door. Psychopath: Open the door, take the knife away from the man and stab him. A8. Normal: You were going to die anyway, too. Psychopath: Because you were bribed. A9. Normal: Red, blue, orange, etc. Psychopath: White, clear

Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

An epileptic man attends a rave.

What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

http://suckmytriforce.tumblr.com

I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

Do you speak alien? Hola.

Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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