Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

Hi

There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

-Knock Knock -Come in!

Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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