Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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