Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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Come In!

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Inbreeding is no laughing matter but damn is it funny.

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Your mumma is so stupid her IQ is 40.

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Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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