A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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Women's rights

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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CORRECTION TO THE COMMENT BELOW! Its a WIN/WIN/WIN/WINWINWINWINWINWIN (WIN For at least 30 more minutes)/CUUUUM!/"SORE ASS WHINING CHILD Gonna grow into a slut SITUATION!" friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man The Anti-Christ: Do not thumb me down unless you want to feel the big burning hot spear of darkness, and you do not... You better don`t be or become a sore ass kid you allshole if you know what I am saying... Yeah! Thats right! You better fear me! Because the angrier you look... The more offended you become... The better you are starting to look...

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops