What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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