Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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A Russian who dosen't like vodka

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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WHAT????

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

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knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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