Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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Religion.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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Knock knock. Racism.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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