whats the best thing about polio...death

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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HEY YOU!!!!

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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good one jess !!

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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