How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was pursuing his dream of becoming the world's best circus clown, which six developed a fear of in a tragic circus accident which occured in his childhood. Therefore, six was afraid of seven.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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Woman's rights

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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Knock Knock Whose there? Me! Hi

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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What black and has children A black man

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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Knock knok ! Whos there? Buhu ! Buhu Who? Why are you crying?

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Why did the black man get kicked out of his hotel room? He did't pay and was in debt so they couldn't allow him to stay.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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