a fish swimming in the water swims

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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Women's rights

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

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If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

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A man walks into a bar.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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this is not an anti joke

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

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Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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