- Anti Joke

Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

Knock, Knock ...

Knock knock. after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

What did the African Man get in Africa Aids

Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

Two tigers, walking down Oxford St. One turns to the other & says, "Quiet for a Saturday, don't you think?"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

my gave me a game i said thank you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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